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AWP in Texts

…I sent some really funny ones from the aiport watching writers wait for shuttle, but these were unfortunately pushed out of my outbox before I recorded them…

WEDNESDAY:

To: Rebekah Silverman & Tadd Adcox

Going to walk over to ground zero with MoGa after I get to hotel. Where are y’all? Do you need help?

From: Tadd Adcox

T! J Y! TJ, TJ, Y!

To: Roxane Gay

Can I borrow a copy of Pank for reading? Spent so much time on outfits just realized I forgot my fucking texts.

To: Molly Gaudry

I’m in the hallway and already forgot what room no. …206?

From: Roxane Gay

I’m at a MAC cosmetics. Do you need anything?

To: Roxane Gay

Roxane, Rebekah needs you and is going to die.

From Roxane Gay (re:)

Whhhhy?

To: Roxane Gay (re:)

She wants to see you. We are talking to Matt! [ed note – Siegel]

From: Molly Gaudry

Nail place in Ramada!

To: Molly Gaudry (re:)

Yay!!

To: Meg Pokrass

Roxane, Ryan Bradley, B Pawelek, Matt Siegel, Rebekah and Tadd say hi and happy YAWP!

To: Meg Pokrass

In cab with Kyle Minor, Molly Gaudry, Peter Cole, Dan Wickett and Matt Bell.

From Meg Pokrass (re:)

Using toe spreaders and clipping my nails.

THURSDAY:

To: Roxane Gay

The Lumberyard woman looks like Millie from One Tree Hill. [note — texting Roxane from the audience at her small magazine panel abt person sitting next to her]

To: Tadd Adcox and Rebekah Silverman

Davis [note: Schneiderman] is genius.

From: Tadd Adcox (re:)

Pretty much.

To: Tadd Adcox and Rebekah Silverman

Bull [note: Magazine — men’s fiction] put their flyer on every urinal in the Hyatt mens room. Brilliant.

To: Tadd Adcox and Rebekah Silverman

Davis has somebody binding him with rope while he talks about copyright.

To: Tadd Adcox

Oh shit, crazy lady with big hair. [note: still at copyright panel]

To: Meg Pokrass

Ran into Donna [Vitucci] at TJ Maxx, ha ha. She says hello.

To: Tadd Adcox and Rebekah Silverman

Will it work for you if I swing by booth in a half hourish to take care of shoulder pad handoff?

To: Meg Pokrass

In cab with Beth Thomas, Roxane and Erin Fitzgerald. Everybody says hi.

From: Brandon Will

Where r u at Tim?

To: Brandon Will (re:)

Mercury Cafe

To: Brandon Will (re:)

Tons of people are here, you should come.

From: Brandon Will (re:)

Where are you again? The Celtic?

To: Brandon Will (re:)

Mercury Cafe

FRIDAY:

To: Meg Pokrass

Met Kathy, Kim C [Chinquee] and Claudia S [Smith] simultaneously last night. Overwhelming, almost died.

To: Tadd Adcox and Rebekah Silverman

Lance Olsen just used the expression “language languages” (2nd language is a verb)

From: Tadd Adcox (re:)

That’s a thing. Things often thing.

To: Tadd Adcox

Lydia Yuknavitch just chewed and spit paper. [note: it was the bible, panel on “how words matter,” as in materialize as matter]

From: Tadd Adcox (re:)

On you? That’s rude.

To: Tadd Adcox

Just walked past Sapphire

To: Tadd Adcox

Just spotted Kate Durbin.

From: Tadd Adcox

It was like a band of gypsies. Gypsies with bad eyesight.

To: Tadd Adcox (re:)

Huh?

From: Tadd Adcox (re:)

Go see Buckbee. It is important that you do this.

From: Rebekah Silverman

Tim you MUST either call us to come in or wear something covered up. Seriously. Not Not Not a good scene to come in w/ sequins and hair. Please.

From: Joe [stepdad]

Listen to Rebecca — she is a very smart woman. This place is a zoo  — with lots of drunken animals.

To: Rebekah Silverman (re:)

Will do

From: Rebekah Silverman

Good. Your mother and I are pleased.

To: Jac Jemc

Eggs! Text me! [note: means text me tomorrow morning]

SATURDAY:

To: Jac Jemc

Eggs?

From: Jac Jemc (re:)

Yes but I bet we won’t be ready for another hour.

To: Jac Jemc

Facob Knabb working FC2 table. [note: in reference to man closely resembling Another Chicago Magazine editor Jacob Knabb — fake Jacob Knabb = Facob Knabb]

From: Roxane Gay

Dinner Sullivans 8 pm

SUNDAY:

To: Tadd Adcox, Rebekah Silverman, Roxane Gay and Jac Jemc

Sleepy!

From: Rebekah Silverman (re:)

Your mom is sleepy.

From: Tadd Adcox (re:)

Your face is sleepy!

From: Tadd Adcox (re:)

Burned.

MONDAY:

To: Jacob Knabb

Na na na Featherproof

From: Jacob Knabb (re:)

/milk chug

9 thoughts on “AWP in Texts

  1. this is pretty brilliant. i should’ve gotten your number. i’d probably have sent you ones about old ladies rolling their eyes at me.

    my favorite text message from AWP said “I miss your scent” and came from Jereme Dean…

  2. Holy shit, Tim– We were in a cab together? I don’t remember that at all. Was it the shuttle from the hotel? I don’t remember that either. That’s not good.

    Oh wait, it was after the FMC party, right? Whew. I was pretty sure I’d avoided blackouts this year, and was worried for a moment.

    1. Haha, yes.

      The cab ride where Kyle Minor interviewed the cab driver about his mystery-writing hobby and career as a freelancer for in-flight magazines, then Molly launched into a series of unprompted declarations about her cab-riding habits, including: “I like to get into the cabs without lights on. Is that dangerous?” and: “When there’s a long line of cabs at an airport or train station, I like to walk to the end of the line and get in the very last cab.”

      This was shortly before Molly expressed consternation over a wall-hanging at the Ramada that illustrated “man’s dominion over the Earth” with an image of an American Indian hunting a buffalo, and in response, you offered to explain manifest destiny. Then we ate Papa John’s and talked about James Franco.

      1. Tim’s the man with the memory! I forgot about all these things. James Franco! Papa John’s! “Man’s dominion over the Earth.” Ugh, that painting. What is manifest destiny again?

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