Today is a TRANSNATIONAL HOLIDAY!
That’s RIGHT! Today is the birthday of inimitable actress DAPHNE ZUNIGA, ambassador of FABULOUS!
ZUNIGAMAS!!! SPREAD THE WORD!!!!!
According to Wikipedia, Daphne Zuniga is best known for her roles in SPACEBALLS and on MELROSE PLACE and ONE TREE HILL, but I’m pretty sure she was also in some classic B, C and D-grade cinema back in the day, and I intend to watch all these films because I am going to become THE MOST DEVOTED DAPHNE ZUNIGA FAN EVER.
Nobody knows the trouble Daphne Zuniga’s seen (get it? Spaceballs reference?), but EVERYONE KNOWS DAPHNE ZUNIGA IS MADE OF WIN.
Daphne Zuniga is one of those actresses who reminds me how happy I am daytime and nighttime soap operas continue to exist, in order that they might employ FABULOUS ACTRESSES LIKE DAPHNE ZUNIGA.
Daphne Zuniga’s FABULOUS is the kind of FABULOUS that transcends the particularities of the characters she plays. I cannot say for certain its source, although I think it might have something to do with LAPELS.
Daphne Zuniga was THE reason I got sucked into the shit fest that is the television series One Tree Hill, and sucked in at a moment when that shit fest was about to reach a new low of (FABULOUS!) shittiness.
One time last year, Daphne Zuniga appeared as her FABULOUSLY, STONE COLD BITCHY One Tree Hill character Victoria the same week she revived her MELROSE PLACE character, the “tough but sensitive” photographer Jo Reynolds, on the CW’s ill-fated resuscitation/sequel/spin-off of said series. That week was the BEST WEEK EVER.
Currently, Zuniga’s One Tree Hill character is ROCKING THE ORANGE JUMP SUIT as an inmate. Bitch committed tax fraud! Remember that other time when Zuniga was behind bars, as a prisoner of DARK HELMET in Spaceballs?
Here’s a scene of DAPHNE ZUNIGA BEING AWESOME on One Tree Hill (sorry, won’t let me embed), alongside her television daughter Brooke, played by Sophia Bush, who could very well become THE NEXT DAPHNE ZUNIGA, on account of her badass smoker’s voice and her having STAYED ON THIS SHITTY TELEVISION SHOW for way too long and ruining any chance she might have had for, say, a feature film career.
Sophia, we’re rooting for you.
AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAPHNE!!!!!!!!!
7 thoughts on “ZUNIGAMAS”
Seriously, why did Sophia stay on OTH this long? It’s crazy. This season is so bananas bad. I love it.
I miss coked-up Millie and drunk-ass Alex. I think the episode where they crashed their car was the high point of my OTH experience.
I think she blew her shot at a film career long ago—in the late 1980s, to be precise. Though I don’t fault her for this; I have always loved Spaceballs.
Plus, she had some real health problems not too long ago:
Omigod, this mercury poisoning story just adds to the fabulous.
Yeah, she says in the article that it was a fabulous experience. Page 2.
Oh, of course it sounds horrific, but NEARLY FELLED BY FISH, SHE RISES AGAIN has all the drama of a great diva narrative.