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Joyce Carol Oates Please Relax

Joyce Carol Oates writes too many damn books. You write that many and the people just gloss over, their eyes like dead fish. When Oates dies it will be just like Updike. A 14 second pause while a shrub falls in an unoccupied forest and then we got to go slurp down our lattes, so move out the way, Johnny. Hey! Chill the fuck out, Joyce! Herta Müller only has 24 measly books and she just took your Nobel Prize away like a lollipop and threw it in the sandbox.

Joyce, let it go….

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