Happy birthday, Joe Pan! Celebrate by reading this fiction we published February 28, 2019!

MCPPFER Doc *Message to the Congress Presenting the President’s First Economic Report. Jan²² 1962^BX*

The MCPPFER Doc is a fraudulent, typewritten transcript of a speech purportedly made by Prez¹ JFK to his Congress in 1962^BX, simultaneously broadcast to the people of the United States. Still housed in the MLKing^Rev Justice Center of the Smithsonian Institutes, this paper-build copy likely represents the work of multiple conspirators—grouped into the singular *Instigator Artist*—who hoped to undermine the administration by transforming via a *whited-out redaction* technique an otherwise innocuous economic report by JFK¹ into a blustery, incendiary tirade, one that proposed among other things a national economic future based on perpetual war. If disruption was its aim, the counterfeit manuscript achieved its goal, as over the next centuries² the false policies set therein were utilized as scare tactics by politicians and social mavens hoping to undermine progressive policies. JFK¹—who in life had been a revered, if flawed, liberal philosopher—was for a time reduced to a Mad King strawman who political thinkers could heap their own fears upon.

Why the speech takes the form of a poem, we do not know. Yet as such, the MCPPFER Doc displays a robust renunciation of ethical practices—scholars agree—though the specific elements as they relate to cultural events, social connotations, or religious beliefs of the era remain largely opaque, though much effort has been made to explicate them following the initial attempt by archivist Dulcetones Frij. Much of the true history of John Fitzgerald Kennedy and the realities of his time have been muddled or outright erased in part by pervasive pseudo-histories capitalizing on mythology and the great loss of texts during the Great Purge, though a substantial amount of information has since been recovered and crossref’d between foreign-stored databases aka dbs, illegally kept *attic codexes*, canonical Elder Wiks, and the Source aka *the Library of Congress*, after it was reopened to the public.

The Doc—and successive docs working from the same conspiracy—sought to showcase JFK¹s outright distain for his citizenry, noting that he reserved a special cruelty for the working poor (plebes) and nonwhite (awyt) populations. He was frequently reported to suffer a penchant for excessive spending and warmongering, to have chased a litany of perverse appetites, and exhibited in day-to-day operations an outright brutishness of such rancor that historians naturally assumed the Prez¹ suffered some form of mental corruption or disintegration. All of this has been proven false, though Kennedy the historical figure—generally accepted as one of the better *Presidents*—was not without some severe blemishes of judgment and personality.

It is agreed that the MCPPFER Doc is considered the foremost impetus behind the revolution that transformed our nation from the United States into Unistat, and shifting our calendar from BX to AX. The upheaval created such political theater as to alter the nation’s economic and social landscape in its totality. Of one thing we can be certain, the backlash against the ideas upheld in the Doc eventually helped divide the country, culminating in the Quad Wars—aka Civilian War²—fought between the Unistat and the Hinter, the western province that seceded under the fierce leadership of the Boar¹. A similar furor erupted after the discovery of the *Volumes³* and the unredacted version of the MCPPFER speech/poem contained therein, discovered by Smithsonian junior archivist Dulcetones Frij, a Tbot student working under lead archivist Mario Jordan^Dr. The contents of these findings would be made public by journalist Errol Oting Styles—murdered for his efforts—and Frij, who separately attempted to explicate and set apart the false and true histories for other journalists and the general pop. The release of their findings spawned a spontaneous, citizen-led uprising against the Unistat gov and its military for weeks³⁰—known as the Weeks³⁰ War—which ended with the dissolution and rejuvenation of the gov under a new Constitution², and furthermore, the unforeseeable reconciliation over the next decade of the Unistat, North Texas, most of Mittelwest Quad, and even parts of the Nartwest territories, under the shared banner of the Uniquad.