nonpress, the nonpeople who gave us P. H. Madore’s Here Lies an American Dreamer & xTx’s Nobody Trusts a Black Magician, comes the new nontitle nonnovella Oikos by nonauthor Adam Moorad. Some good nonexcerpts for your nonreading:

“He steps into the shower. Adjusts the faucet and closes his eyes. Leonardo DiCaprio is eluding Dominican drug runners on a tropical forest floor. Palm trees. Sand. He is somewhere secluded. He is a young man. He has hair. He will never grow old. Rita should cut Leonardo DiCaprio’s hair because she knows how.”

“Lamb opens his eyes when he feels Amy’s hand on his back. He jumps. He doesn’t trust her fingers. He stands still. Amy pets his back. Lamb thinks about moving. She keeps petting. He feels a prickling sensation spread across his forehead. His hair is hanging in his eyes like a strange helmet. He swallows. The air around him tastes spoiled and lifeless. He swallows again. His throat hurts. He thinks there is a glandular abnormality occurring in the back of his throat. His tonsils. An infection. Lamb wonders if it’s genetic. Chromosomal.”

“He feels one-dimensional and wonders what to do. For a second, he thinks he might pass out. He wraps his arms around himself. Shivers while trying to avoid eye contact with the coffee geniuses, whose faces are grave with self-stimulant. The problem with them is that they’re idiots; all recovering alcoholics still in need of a place to be at night with other people.”

The nice nonnews is that you can buy yourself a signed copy straight from the nonhorse’s mouth here or just read it for free here.